Have you ever been frustrated because you just have too much money? You have financial security and feel as if life is pointless because there are no risks anymore? Have you ever thought about just how challenging it would be to jump right in and lose all that hard-earned cash? Well, never fear, today we break down the 5 simple steps to going broke.
Step #1: Buying Overly Expensive Gifts
With the holidays coming up, now is a perfect time to set yourself up to go broke! Your parents asked you for a modest, $20 candle set, but you know that in reality they need a matching set of iPhone 12s and 2 brand new Apple Watches. You will look super generous and everybody will think you are super great at handling your money. If you’re looking to go broke soon, definitely start with the upcoming holidays!
Step #2: Expecting A Government Bailout
This is another way to go broke that is very timely. How many of you already spent that second $1200 stimulus check on unnecessary items like a new paint job for your car, a vacation, or a new wardrobe? Well, lucky for you, this is a great way to go broke because there may not ever be a second stimulus check. Counting on money that you have not made already, whether from the government or another source, is an excellent way to ensure you will be broke soon enough.
Step #3: Taking Advice From Clueless Family Members
Aunt Jenny has never had a job in her life. Her husband Jack works at a call center for just above minimum wage. They own 2 Hummers and a boat. They are clearly the exact people you should be taking any and all financial advice from in order to get broke. Definitely do that. Don’t ask your cousin who has a median wage office job, a boring used car, a small home, and a retirement fund, he clearly is on a different path than the one you want to be on.
Step #4: Never Buy Used
One of the most important steps in going broke is to buy everything new. Who wants a car that someone else has spilled cheerios in? That’s disgusting! You want a brand new car that you yourself can christen with cheerios. Don’t even get me started on thrift stores…used clothes? That is not for somebody who is trying to go broke! No, you need brand name, preferably designer, clothes and accessories, and you need them each season. Don’t be caught dead driving a used car or last year’s jeans, not if your goal is to go broke!
Step #5: Buy More House Than You Need
You’re in your mid-thirties and it’s just you and your husband. You have no intention of having kids, and your parents are already in a comfortable one-level house that they want to remain in so they have plans of moving in with you. You should clearly buy a 5000 square foot house in a high cost of living area to live out your broke dreams together!
As you can see, going broke can be fairly easy if you have a road-map in place, however, it may take some doing depending on your income level. Don’t worry though, with enough effort and patience, even the richest of the rich can go broke. Just never stop trying!